


at night i look up to the stars [and wonder if you do too]

by stilinskisbanshee



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Canon Divergence, F/M, Love, One Shot, Season/Series 01, bellarke missing pieces, bellarke one shot, plot divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4675391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinskisbanshee/pseuds/stilinskisbanshee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke have always talked when he does the rounds on the nights she’s on duty, sometimes ii’s harmless banter and witty comebacks or conversations of their past lives that now seem insignificant but one night the conversation takes them down a path they’ve never been down before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	at night i look up to the stars [and wonder if you do too]

“Yo Clarke,” Miller shouts, peeling back the makeshift material door that is the only thing blocking Clarke from the rest of the camp.

“Mmm?” she mumbles, still half asleep as she attempts to open her eyes.

“You’re up, Bellamy wants you in the usual spot in five,” he says throwing a gun onto her makeshift bed. She groans as she swings her legs over the side of the bed and gets up, stretching.

Not only is it bad enough having to shiver in the freezing cold in the middle of the night, but when you’re stationed a mile away from camp with the ever present threat of grounders lurking around every corner and the only thing you have to protect yourself is one measly gun, she’s come to hate guard duty. Not to forget the infuriating Bellamy Blake breathing down her neck whilst she’s trying to avoid being mauled to death by a rogue grounder.

She’s pulling on her jacket when she sees that Miller is still stood there. “Was there something else?” she asks, looking him dead in the eye.

“N-no, nothing,” he mumbles, turning and exiting like the place was on fire.

She tends to have that effect on people.

•••

“Hey Bellamy,” he heard a voice call as he was patrolling the wall.

“Yes,” he replied, slightly irritated. People always wanted something from him, whether it was to discuss battle strategies or to ask him when their next shift was on guard duty he could never seem to shake people around here. He turned around to see Jasper walking over to him.

“Have you seen Octavia, I’ve been meaning to talk to her about something.” Bellamy sighed. This kid was head over heels for his baby sister and she didn’t even care to give him the time of day. Too busy kissing his men, costing him more lives.

Love wasn’t something that interested the Blake boy. It just ended in hurt, pain and pointless depression. His mother loved him and look how that turned out, she got floated and his sister got locked up. From then on Bellamy had learned that love is a liability and if he was to lead this camp he should never let himself feel those emotions again. It made him weak, and for him to lead weakness is not an option. Weakness is not an option for anyone on the ground, not even Jasper.

“Last time I saw her she was sneaking out of camp to see the grounder she helped escape, don’t tell her I saw her though, she likes to believe her relationship is a secret,” Bellamy says, looking Jasper dead in his eyes as the glimmer of hope he had in them dissolve into pools of sadness.

“Oh, okay then, I’m sorry I wasted your time … Sir.” Bellamy can’t help but smirk at that. Sir, really?

Bellamy saw Jasper was still stood there next to him, gazing into the grass. “Was there something else?” he asks, amusement dancing in his eyes at the sight of the boy squirm.

“No, no. I’ll just go now,” the younger boy said turning to walk away.

“Oh, and Jasper? Don’t call me sir,” Bellamy called with a smirk as Jasper had begun to walk away.

“Right, got it,” Jasper cringed as he bolted back to camp.

He tends to have that effect on people.

•••

“For gods sake this is getting ridiculous,” Clarke mumbles sending a puff of white air into the dark woods. She’s rubbing her hands together attempting to generate some form of heat. She’d slung her gun over her shoulder for now, I mean it’s not like there’s going to be a grounder ambush any time soon. She was leaning against a tall oak tree, staring up at the stars when her eyes settled on what could only be the Ark.

Were they ever even coming down at all? What if the Ark ran out of oxygen quicker than anticipated and it was just them left down there, alone, forever. Left to defend themselves against manic psycho warrior men and two headed animals with what? A few makeshift bullets and some ancient bulky guns.

She begun to question why they bothered fighting at all? What was she fighting for? It wasn’t her family and it sure as hell wasn’t love. Love, the word sounded wrong to Clarke. She thought she loved Finn, so much so she had sex with him. But then it turned out he had a girlfriend back on the Ark and she was only a distraction to him. She was available when Raven wasn’t. Love, what a joke. Even her mother let her believe her best friend had handed in her father when actually it had been her all along. Her own mother killed the man she had supposedly ‘loved’ too. Love is just a synonym for disappointment, and Clarke wasn’t about to be disappointed any time soon.

There was a snap in the bushes to her right and she cursed herself for choosing to sling her gun over her shoulder instead of keeping it in her hands and easy to fire. Maybe there was going to be a grounder ambush sometime soon.

Clarke spun to the source of the noise, gun now fully loaded and trained on the figure materialising out of the dark night. “I wouldn’t shoot that thing Princess,” Bellamy said as he stepped into the small clearing she was stationed at.

“What are you doing Bellamy,” she questioned, her heartbeat almost falling back to a normal steady rate. Almost. She never could quite get her heartbeat to slow down when Bellamy was around. The beats were always more erratic and irregular. She didn’t know why either, she just knew she couldn’t shake him. It wasn’t that he was intimidating but there was something about him that just put her on edge, she could never quite predict his next move.

“Well hello to you too,” he smirked, resting against the tree she was leaning on not five minutes ago.

“I’m serious Bellamy, I’ve got this station go lurk around looking for grounders somewhere else,” she sighs slinging the gun back over her shoulder. Bellamy was here now, and somehow she knew that as long as he was there she wouldn’t have to remove that gun from her shoulder.

“Just doing the rounds, you know me, I wanted to make sure everyone was where they’re supposed to be,” his tone was somewhat playful.

If he was being brutally honest, he enjoyed his little back and forths with Clarke on a night. He liked the way she always had a comeback for every sarcastic comment or fleeting remark he made. He also enjoyed the way she endlessly seemed to surprise him. He could never quite tell what mood she was going to be in on the nights he came to ‘do the rounds’. Some nights she’d be full of harsh comebacks and sly smiles and others she’d be able to sit and have an actual no nonsense conversation with him, swapping stories about the Ark and their before they were sent to the ground. He preferred the latter, though he’d never admit it, he loved the way she actually cared about his struggles and his story.

“Well, since you’re here I’d like to know why you stationed me so far out, I mean there isn’t another watch duty anywhere this deep into the forest,” she asks him settling herself at the foot of the oak next to him, snapping him out of his daydream.

“Well,” he started, sinking down to sit next to her.

“We can’t keep the princess locked in the castle forever now can we,” he says staring at her as his lips quirk upwards.

She can feel him staring, she can feel his lopsided smirking face turned towards her own but she keeps her eyes trained on the Ark. She’s afraid to look at him, afraid that her eyes will tell him everything she’s feeling at this moment and afraid that he can feel her heartbeat increasing by the second. He turns his head to gaze up at the sky too and she can’t help but wander if they’re both looking at the same thing.

She manages to compose herself as she turns her head to reply, “I guess not, but they sure managed to keep me in solitary for a while. I mean that whole ship was just one big prison, and the only person I thought I could trust turned out the be the least trustworthy of them all. She is the reason my father is dead, she is the reason I was locked up and she is the reason that Finn’s girlfriend came down to screw everything up.” Her voice cracks on the word 'up’ and her eyes become glassy with unshed tears.

Now it’s Bellamy’s turn to feel afraid. He’s never seen this side of Clarke before and it’s making him feel and think things that he vowed to himself he’d keep buried forever. Because the feelings inside of him right now make people weak, they make him weak and he can’t be weak if he wants to survive. He can’t feel if he wants to survive and he most certainly can’t let himself love if he truly wants to live. Because love is mans greatest gift, but it’s also their worst nightmare. If he doesn’t face his fears then he’s a coward, but this is the greatest fear of all. She is his greatest fear, and he has to face up to it. He swallows then turns to face her, his big brown eyes locking with her ice cold blue ones.

“Clarke,” he says, any trace of his once playful smirk is now gone and his face is now nothing but the truth. This is a side to him that only Clarke can see, because this makes him vulnerable and Clarke is the only one that is allowed to see his face behind the mask. “You don’t need Finn,” his voice is deep and low and he’s moved in so close that he can feel her breath on his face and their noses are almost touching, “you’ve got me.”

If she thought that her heart was beating fast then, it’s even faster now. Her breath hitches for a second and there isn’t one trace of humour in his eyes and they’re so close she’s afraid he can see every single thought running through her mind. Thoughts she told herself that after Finn she’d never think of again because they only lead to getting hurt and she can’t handle any more pain.

“I don’t-” she starts but doesn’t know how to end because she does know, she knows exactly what he means. Then just like that, he’s closed the remaining distance between them and their lips collide like they’ve done this hundreds of times before. She kisses him back, knowing that there’s no point in holding back anymore, that maybe he is worth the pain.

Bellamy pulls back only for a brief second but before he can speak Clarke’s lips are back on his. His hand finds its way to her cheek as hers rake themselves through his tangled black curls. This kiss is different from the first, it’s needy and raw and full of meaning that could never be displayed through words or anything other that this kiss and this kiss alone. She nibbles on his bottom lip and his lips part in a slight moan and her tongue slips into his mouth.

Both their tongues fight for dominance as two leaders sharing a kiss would do and in this moment they realise just how alike they are. Deep down it never really was Bellamy’s unpredictability that scared Clarke, it was how alike she knew they were. He was a ruthless leader and it scared her that she could tell what he was thinking from one glance. They were both leaders, and they both understood each other better than anyone else. They understood each other even though they didn’t really know each other and it scared both of them to think that they could let someone that close to them, because God forbid when that L word comes into play they’re both screwed. But secretly, they both knew they were screwed from the start.

This awakened knowledge ignited something in Clarke and she presses Bellamy’s back against the old oak and climbs on top of him, removing her jacket. She doesn’t know whether it’s the cool night air or his touch against her bare skin but bumps begins to form on her arms. She managed to remove his jacket and dumps it against the tree. She’s now in control, and he doesn’t like it.

He soon finds away around this and flips them both over away from the tree along with their weapons and pulls away from her lips for a moment to admire her face. She balls up his t-shirt in his fist and she pulls him down onto her. He begins to pepper kisses along her jawline down to her neck and stops to kiss her there, sure to leave a mark the next day. He wants to mark her, to let the world knew she’s his because he’s not going to get hurt again.

Her hands slide underneath his t-shirt and her fingertips trace his abs and he pulls the material over his head.

This gives Clarke enough time to flip them over once again so now she straddles his waist once more and he takes his hands to remove her top. He allows himself a moment to trace her outline with his fingers, her skin a boiling furnace compared to his ice cold hands before she’s bent down to kiss him again.

Dawn is beginning to set in the sky and they know they’ll have to give up and head back to camp soon, can’t have the two great leaders missing now can we. So as Bellamy’s hand goes to the clasp of Clarke’s bra she pulls away and settles in to lie next to him. The coldness of the air around them only just beginning to settle in.

“Bellamy I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again, not after Finn I just couldn’t bear to go through that again,” she starts and they’re back to where they started, looking up at the sky both focused on one little box of metal.

“No, I know, this makes you weak. Feelings make you weak it doesn’t matter,” he replies, trying to hide the disappointment in his gravely voice.

“Actually I was going to say that you changed my mind. Bellamy we understand each other. Our thoughts, our actions, we work together. We can do this. And I know that falling for people is pointless and this love is just another word for disappointment but what if we can prove that wrong.”

They lay in silence for a moment before Bellamy replies, “Well it wouldn’t hurt to try.” His smirk is back again as he rolls off the damp muddy ground and lifts her up too.

“Well we got a long walk back to camp, better get going princess,” he says enveloping her into a hug because he can see she’s shivering in the crisp air. She pulls away and goes to get dressed before they decide to head back to camp as the sun begins to rise in front of them.

They have a lot to discuss but somehow they know exactly the right words to say.

**Author's Note:**

> so that was that. feedback is always helpful, notes, improvements literally anything would be amazing and thank you for tanking the time to read my little fic/one shot.


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